Remembering an Anniversary and a Loss

LossThree years ago this week, our hopes and dreams of adding to our family were dashed. We actually gave up trying to have our own child, a sibling for our son.

After two losses through miscarriage in 2009, we were told and truly believed that my “old eggs” were the problem with getting pregnant and we had opted to try a fertility treatment.

Donor Egg IVF seemed to be a logical choice since we knew that I was otherwise healthy, could get pregnant and was able to carry a baby to full term. My husband’s sperm checked out fine. Our son was healthy and two and a half years old. I was 42 1/2.

The process was fairly long in my opinion from the initial consultation to the implantation of the two fertilized embryos some six months later. Most of the time was in selecting a donor for the eggs, the clinic communicating with her, and them preparing her to ovulate and produce many eggs for the IVF process.

I had many steps as the recipient too: actually preparing my body to take the eggs, birth control pills followed by hormone shots, antibiotics, and then the transplant procedure itself. Fortunately, the last step was done in less than 30 minutes with a guided ultrasound and a painless process requiring no anesthesia in a quiet surgical center on a Saturday morning.

I was encouraged during those first few weeks of June 2010 and felt pregnant agin. My hormone levels were closely monitored. Four weeks following the implantation, I got the dreaded call with the message that “your levels are declining and you are likely to miscarry any day now.” 

This was our third and final miscarriage. The hardest one to process and the most expensive.

While the procedure is successful for many women over age 40, we had no success due to the donor eggs’ quality.  Though our anonymous donor had five healthy children and was only age 28, these eggs did not take. They were not strong enough to develop we were told. Had we had the chance to do it over again (and we opted not to), I would have chosen a donor with more experience actually donating eggs in this way. The donor we chose looked like me and my sister (now deceased) and appearance guided our choice.

Have you or someone close to you experienced either side of Donor Egg IVF? What was your experience?

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