What is the Advanced Maternal Age Project?

Our mission continues. Our goal is to provide unique support to women and couples who made the choice to start their family at age 35 or better. All at no charge. It’s our nonprofit’s work.

Mid-life pregnancy and motherhood is a growing trend in the developed world. It is not going away.

Enjoy our site filled with women’s stories, expert voices and information to make the best choices for you.

  • Is there something you still need?
  • What other resources should we make available?

We’d love to hear from you. Write Us at info@advancedmaternalage.org. Follow us on Twitter for news about the trend.

What Was Your Experience?

Share Your Story with Our Nonprofit to Help Other Women. Donations Support our Research and Publishing.

Our research team continues to capture longer, more in-depth stories from advanced maternal age mothers like you. Our Nonprofit is bringing them to our international audience in narrative form, along with audio clips and photos of the women and their families. If you became a mother for the first time at age of 35 or later, we’d love to hear your story! We are now scheduling for individual sessions for in person and telephone interviews. Please write us as a first step.

Want to know more about our organization and how you can fund our work?

For all inquiries, please contact us at info@advancedmaternalage.org

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Relating to Other Parents with Young Kids

We have begun a new column where our readers can write in with their questions. We’ll field the questions to one or more experts in the subject and post the responses typically within 2 weeks.

Here’s the first question that editor Sharon thought you might like to see as an example (she responded). Write Us with Your Question!

Q: I’m one of the oldest moms at our daycare and am feeling a little isolated from the rest of the parents. Do you have any suggestions on ways to identify with younger moms?

 A: Just talking about your kids is easiest. What are they learning or what are their favorite foods and toys? Feel free to suggest fun playground or other kid-friendly activity that you discovered nearby the daycare and encourage them to join you for a weekend play date. Overall, keep the conversation focused on the thing you have in common, your kids, and the conversation should flow.

We’d love to see your question!

 

Sharing Our Perspectives: Feedback from Wendy

We pose a two questions to first-time moms of age 35 or better to see the range of perspectives and ideas that women across the country have on the core topic of this website and upcoming book.

Sharon: How did you react to getting the Advanced Maternal Age stamp on your medical chart (or having that label applied to you) What did it mean to you–if anything?

Wendy:  I saw the stamp at the appointment after my first OB visit to my traditional doctor’s office. Each appointment she reminded me of my risk factors and chance for c-section. By the eighth month, I literally told her that I was confident that I would continue to be healthy and have a healthy child via natural childbirth. I proved her wrong!

Sharon: Do you identify yourself as an “Older Mom”? If yes, what does that mean to you?

Wendy: I do feel like an older mom. I sense that the women who have children the same ages as mine are more concerned (read frazzled) by minor things. I am wise enough when to call the pediatrician and take the small bumps in stride. The only significant difference for me is that as a 44-year-old working mom with young children, I am often tired on the weekends. My remedy  is the old adage, sleep when they sleep. Napping and going to sleep early seems to work.

Share your thoughts – we’d love to hear from you

Writing Prompts for Submissions

Here are some prompts to help guide you in your writing.  These are meant to help get you thinking about your story.  Please don’t feel like we want you to answer all these questions or let them limit your story in any way!

Happy writing!  We look forward to reading your story.

-Sharon and Jennifer

 

  • Tell us about your family and who is in it (names not necessary).


  • At what age did you start trying to start a family?


  • What life choices or circumstances led you to that point?

 

  • Do you have biological and/or foster and/or adoptive children in your home?

 

  • Why did you decide to have a child?

 

  • Describe any of the challenges you may have encountered along the way.


  • Share your feelings from that process:  getting AMA label, experiences with medical professionals, etc.



  • How did the process affect your relationship with your spouse or partner? Friends? Family?

 

  • Looking back on the process:

-Do you see things differently?

-Is there anything you would do differently?

-Have your feelings changed? If so, how?

  

  • Thinking back, do you feel good about your choice or are there things that maybe you regret?

 

  • Now that your child is X years old, what has been your experience as a parent? How might this be reflective of your maturity or other factors?

 


Sharon H’s Story

By the time my mom was my age I had finished college. My life is very different: my daughter’s just 8 and by the time she’s finished college, I’ll be heading towards retirement (if I retire, though that’s a different story). Both in medical and actual terms, I’m an older mom – and that brings both triumphs and tribulations.

1. Perspective, Patience & Confidence

Perspective, patience and confidence are definitely on the ‘triumphs’ list when it comes to middle-aged motherhood. In my 20s I was still evolving and building my life and my career. Now I have confidence in my own abilities and I’ve reached many of the career milestones I wanted to achieve. Even more important, I know they pale into insignificance compared with the joy and challenge of parenting. At this stage in my life, with my own parents getting older and the knowledge that life is short, I’m more inclined to appreciate every moment that I spend with her or invest in her happiness and educational, emotional and social development. I can still remember the great times I had hanging out with my mom throughout my childhood, even when we weren’t doing anything special. I want my daughter to have those kinds of memories too.

Another triumph is the chance to see the world anew through the eyes of a child. Sometimes we can be so caught up in work that we forget about the fascination of a blade of grass or a butterfly. We ignore the wonder of a rainbow or the moon at night, and we forget to treasure every new experience. Having a child changes that. What’s more, I’m content to let her explore the world at her pace, with a lot more patience than I would have had in my 20s.

2. Energy Levels

Chalk this one up under tribulations. At the age of 25, which is the age my mom was when I was born, I had lots of energy. I could hold down a full time job and party all night for successive nights without it affecting my work performance or my enjoyment. In my late 40s, that’s not the case. Although I’m relatively fit, my energy levels are definitely lower, so a couple of active days means I don’t want to play when my daughter is raring to go. At the end of the work day, when I’m ready to sit down and relax, that’s when she needs my attention and sometimes it’s hard for me to work up the necessary enthusiasm.

Along with that, I’ve discovered that I just can’t hack sleepless nights anymore. I learned that the hard way, as my daughter took a couple of years to decide to sleep through the night. This was a big problem once I returned to work. Frankly, I was a zombie, and it was a good thing my bosses were understanding. Fuzzy thoughts made everything take twice as long as it should at a time when I was balancing the new responsibilities of parenting. It wasn’t pretty. Luckily, that didn’t last, and broken nights are now rare. When they do happen, though, the result is the same – a less productive work day just when I should be at the top of my game.

3. Thinking Time

At any age, being a parent is a full time job – think 25/7 (and yes, that is a deliberate mistake). I’m a writer and thinking time is an important part of my creative process. While in my 20s, my thoughts when I relaxed were often about a creative challenge, now they are more likely to be about the mechanics of the following day: school uniforms, extra-curricular activities and my daughter’s general welfare. That’s not a bad thing, but creativity can suffer though, to balance that, sometimes your child provides a perspective that you hadn’t thought of, giving you a new angle to approach an issue or problem.

4. Disposable Income

When I was in my 20s, my income wasn’t enough to support the lifestyle to which I aspired. As an older parent, I have more disposable income, which means it’s easy to keep my daughter supplied with books, spring for after-school activities, fund trips and more. I think this will give her a rich educational experience and make her an all-rounder, which gives me a lot of satisfaction, too. The potential down side is that she will take all of this for granted, but it’s my job to make sure she retains a balanced attitude while enjoying the benefits.

While there’s no doubt that being an older parent can take a physical toll, I’ve found that mentally and emotionally it’s been a good experience. At this age, I’ve got my act together and I think that makes me a better role model for my daughter. Of course, every generation thinks that parents get things wrong, so check back with me when she’s in her teens and see if I feel the same. I hope I do!

 Share your story!

Sharon Hurley Hall has been writing professionally for almost 25 years, and she does it because she loves it. She is a word nerd, a Scrabble fiend, fanatical about grammar, and is fascinated by learning new things. Her story was original published on Living Better at 50+.