Sharing Our Perspectives: Vicki’s Feedback

Vicki from Pennsylvania found us online and a felt compelled to write us with her story filled with wisdom. She is 66 and her youngest daughter is now 21.  

My first child was born when I was 29. He was a healthy 8 lb. baby and I was probably a little in awe of this tiny bit of humanity. I went back to work immediately, primarily because I was able to take my son back to work with me. My husband was a veteran who was completing his bachelors degree and was able to take the baby in the afternoons.

Then in 1981 we decided to have another child. Our son was 6 years old when his sister was born. We were sure that our family was complete. When our daughter was 9 years old, and I was 44, I found that I was pregnant with a third child.

This was totally unplanned and happened despite every precaution we had taken to prevent a pregnancy. In fact I was scheduled for tubal ligation surgery in June – a month after I found out I was pregnant.

I was stunned and embarrassed. Here I was with a 16 and 10 year old and I am expecting another baby at 44. I was immediately advised by both my PCP and my Obstetrician that I was a “high risk” mother. Other than a fibroid tumor that seemed to have attached itself to the growing fetus, I didn’t have any problems with the pregnancy.

The birth of our 3rd child, a girl was relatively easy. After completing a full day of work, I came home to start dinner, but my water broke within the first half hour of getting in the door. Our little girl came 6 hours after my water broke.

Emotionally, my concerns were about how I was going to have enough energy to keep up with a baby. The blessing in it all is that I had a very supportive family, and lots of help from both my mother and mother-in-law.

My experience with this late life baby has been awesome. She has grown into a thoroughly capable competent young woman. I believe I was a more relaxed mother with her, and I think that being older allowed me to engage in more thoughtful parenting practices than I used with my two older children.